So it begins

On a day like today, a day which has come to symbolize hardship, grief and what ifs, I am making today stand for rebirth and moving forward. Today is my little brother's Geoffrey's birthday. If he had lived he would be 28 years old. I dedicate this journey to you little guy. This may seem like a silly journey and thing to dedicate, but I am 30 and need to get my life on track. I do not have financial freedom or confidence. I have debt and I hate that every paycheck is constantly already spoken for. I am working just to survive the staggering amount of debt I have and the lifestyle that I want to keep living which is helping me maintain the unending circle of debt and frustration.

As I said I am 30 and I will be 31 this year and I am so in debt that it is ridiculous. This is something that I should have addressed in my 20's but I did not have the proper foundation as a child which led to me not having the foundation as an adult until now. I am in the worst financial shape I have been in my life and it saddens me. I never knew how much student loan debt I was in until a month ago and once I found out what it was, I cried and thought all was over. It is not. My dreams still have a chance of occurring I just need to write it all down, budget, set goals and stick to it. All sounds simple right?!?! Well if it was I would not be in the mess I am in now.

I have goals and dreams that I want for my life. I am with a great and loving man and someday I want to marry him and start a family. I want a beautiful wedding, a house, savings and the ability to not only teach my kids financial responsibility so that they have a solid foundation but also help pay for their college to eliminate a lot of stress, debt and doubt that would enter into their lives without any aid.

So that being said, here it is. I am giving my debt the attention and discipline that it deserves.

God help and guide me in this journey, I need your support and hand because through you, all things are possible.

Another note, this journey is meant to give me release, direction, and an outlet to write out my plan. This is not for anyone to follow because I am not perfect or have any tips besides what you can easily read or research online. Instead, this is my journey and you are welcome to read to encourage me or give me tips but if your looking for guidance, man I am not her :)

• How much total debt do I owe: Taking into account my medical co-pays, what I currently owe the federal and two state governments, credit cards and student loans, I owe somewhere over 170K. I know, how sickening. And the topper, I will never make that much money in my life. UGH

So that is the first thing that I did. Besides getting a bit depressed the best thing is that I already had an idea that my debt was this large. The majority of the 170K comes from student loans (roughly 140K) so taking that out of the equation, I owe about 30k in debt. This is still a lot and depressing but a lot more manageable to pay off in the time frame that I am giving myself.

• What do I want to change about my finances: So much, lol but to be specific I am riddle with debt. I want to change how much I spend monthly. So for me this would be on excess items (like satellite, netflicks, Fitworks, etc). I have called all the places that I possibly could to lower credit card minimum balances (which I am super proud that I did that) so those payment plans can not be altered which is why excess expenses need to go. I want to save a minimum of $208 a month, which does not sound like a lot giving how much I owe, but that is better than the $0 I have been doing for so long. So if I can answer this question in one general sentence, I want to change my spending (by decreasing and focusing on bills) and increase my savings habit.

• Where do I wanna be financially in one year-five years-ten years: In one year which would be May 2, 2012 I want to have at least $2,500 saved. This can be achieved by my putting $208 in the bank every month and NOT touching it. This will be an 1/2 emergency fund, and 1/2 savings for the future fund (I did say that I wanted to marry my boyfriend and weddings are not cheap). I want to have at least 3 of my credit cards paid off. I should put which ones and they should be the higher balances or higher interests ones but this is all new for me and I do not want to set goals which are too high. The three that I want to have taken care of are: Meijer; Amazon and Bank of America. Within a year I also want all of my medical bills and accumulated co-pays paid in full.

1. In five years (2016): at least $10,000 saved, all credit cards paid in full which means that my 30k in debt over the span of 5 years aka $6000/year paid off and credit cards canceled except for the highest balanced to be used in emergencies only. I want a credit score of 675 or higher. Considering that I have been default on a lot of bills it is not surprising that my score is not ideal. I am making a notation in my planner to request my score on my birthday so that I can see what progress I have made from today to then. I also want 5% of my student loans paid off. That seems like a small amount but that would be roughly 7 grand.


2. In ten years (2021): at least $20,000 saved 1/2 for a down payment on a house and then 1/2 for the emergency fund. A credit score of 725 or higher. Roughly at this time 50% or more of my student loans paid off. So taken what I have paid five years ago and now, 55% taken care of leaving me with roughly 77K paid off.

• What do I look forward to the most regarding my fiances are: getting a house; paying off all of my bills, loans; getting and paying off a new car and having a real savings account with a increasing balance.

Well that is all for today. My goal is to check in every week to give an update. Today I am going to budget for the month including savings and giving a bit more to one of the three cards I want to pay off. Wish me luck, send prayers and if you have not done so already evaluate your finances, are you free and confident?!?!? Until I write in you again...